


Never Scared

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 07:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes I dream about what I have done. How I have done him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Scared

Sometimes I dream about what I have done. How I have done him wrong. I sat up and watch him sleep. We used to do this almost every night, sleep together and wake up the same way without being judged or annoyed by anyone. The boys understood the moment we told them about our feelings. Niall hugged Harry tightly and the rest just smiled reassuringly at us. Like if it was alright. Our manager didn´t thought that. He said no. He said it wasn´t good for our career. He said it wasn´t right. 

Harry moved next to me and I had to hold my breath. Laying there, with the covers over his shoulders I couldn´t see his tattoos but I knew each one of them. I smiled to myself and passed my fingers over his warm cheeks. I love him. I have loved him since I meet him at that bathroom, since our very first practice with Simon. I can still recall our first date, our first kiss…our first time. I was so in love with him. I still am. 

I hear my phone buzz and I take it so quick I almost fall out of the bed. It is four am and she is calling me. I hung up the phone and then turned it off. I don´t want to be disturbed. I don´t want the sun to rise. I want to stay this way forever, next to him, watching him, admiring him. 

“Why don´t you take a photograph?” he asked still with his eyes closed and his hands under his pillow. I was able see a small smile starting to appear on those thin lips. 

“I already have too many. I prefer the real deal.” I answered him and he finally opened one eye to see me. Damn, why did he have to be so adorable? 

“It was her, wasn´t she?” he asked me and I know I can´t lie to him; I don´t like lying to him. I nod slowly and his smile disappeared. It was heartbreaking. “What did she wanted?” 

I shook my head. I don´t want to think about that. I don´t want to think about her. “I didn´t answered.”

He frowned at me and then he passed his arm in front of reaching for my phone. “You turned it off.” I stood silent. “You are going to get in trouble.”

“I don´t care.”

“Really?” I heard the hint of sarcasm in his voice and that surprised me. “Since when?”

“Harry…” I tried to say but he didn´t want to listen. He was mad. He had been angry for the last two years and I couldn´t really blame him. 

“You know what, screw this, screw all of this!” 

“Harry…”

He stood up from the bed and ran towards the closet where he found a pair of jeans and a white jacket. “You can turn on your phone and tell her she can come by anytime she wants. I don´t care anymore!””

I ran towards him and tried to stopped him. 

“Why are you doing this?” I screamed at him. “Why are you bringing this all up on the only time we have together?” 

He turned around and threw his hands to the air in exasperation. “Because these are the only moments we have Louis! Here, hiding behind closed door, at night when there is nothing left to do than fuck and sleep, and we even haven´t done the first one in almost a month!” 

I couldn´t speak anymore. I felt a knot in my throat that was warning me I was on the edge of tears. Harry was already crying but I didn´t wanted to cry, not in front of him. I was the rock, I was the tough one. I was…

He sighed and looked away. He looked so ashamed, so broken, so lost. 

“I can´t live this way anymore Louis.” I held my breath for a couple of seconds. This wasn´t happening. It couldn´t be true. “Maybe you can lie to the world about who do you really love but I can´t. I just can´t.” 

I passed my fingers through my hair and stared at him. “Do you still love me?”

He doubted for a moment but then he shook his head. “I am so sorry.” He opened the door but didn´t leave. He knew I still had another question waiting to come out of my mouth. 

“Does he love you back?” He nodded. “Is he afraid?” Unlike me?

Harry chuckled guessing my thought. “No, he is out and he isn´t scared to hold my hand, to take me to dinner…” He paused and the smile reappeared on those lips. “…to kiss me.” 

I ran towards him and hugged him tightly. I kissed his cheek and then his forehead. I wasn´t losing him, I had already lost him. “Just promise me you will be happy.” I could feel his face nod on my shoulder. “And that you will never be scared of what you are.”

“Louis…” I felt two tears rolled down my cheeks. “I was never scared.”


End file.
